Deer and elk meat-cuts' prices

Ok, this is pretty much just a rider to my preceding "Eat MEAT!" entry of the other day.

     When I wrote that, I was just trying to share some somewhat-specific general information.  Now I'm thinking that even though it's been a year or two since I first researched them, hence any given meat cut's price might well have gone up (which I figured would make the information sufficiently obsolete as to be nearly useless), nevertheless, the overall price differences between one supplier and another might well still be at approximately the same ratios.
     Keep in mind:  it seems as if most of the places I'd looked at suggest shipping at least 10 pounds of meat;  less than that seems to make them a bit skittish, presumably due to potential spoilage (I'm guessing that this would be due to potential food poisoning and subsequent law suits).

Anyway, the prices have probably changed on most of them (if not all of them), and certainly there's at least one major addition since having compiled the below lists (in the form of ElkUSA's red deer, when they had had only whitetail and fallow at the time), but at the least, it should give you a ball-park minimum to expect for any given item--and hey, it should give you a rough comparison-contrasting listing for what might typically cost more or less than whatever else.

     I never got to starting to run similar listings for the other meats ('gator, quail, ostrich, etc.), so I have no real idea about their weighted costs--sorry about that.

Deer:
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Deer meat, sequenced from cheapest on top

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The next-cheapest cuts of deer (again: seq'd from lowest price on top)

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The most expensive deer cuts

Elk:
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Elk meat, sequenced from cheapest on top

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The next-cheapest cuts of elk (again: seq'd from lowest price on top)

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The most expensive elk cuts

Eat MEAT! (exotic meat shippers online)

You know how sometimes you go to the corner store only to discover that they're fresh out of unicorn steaks?  Oh, wait, no...  I suppose not.

     However, on a more serious note:  have you never thought that it might be nice to get away from the standard beef/chicken/pork/fish (or, depending upon your origins and current locale: frog, 'gator, crayfish, etc.)?  Never craved a change from the "exotic" lamb, duck, or rabbit?  If you're thinking that your shopping list should sometimes include something like venison, 'gator, ostrich, and yak, then this post's for you!

     I found, a ways back (maybe a year or 2 ago, and their shipping prices don't seem to have changed since then), 5 different meat suppliers (I'm sure that a Google would reveal a great number more, of course).  I still haven't ordered anything from any of them (sorry, but I'm more concerned with buying food and paying bills than I am with pursuing the life of a gourmand, extremely tempting though that is...).  That notwithstanding, I thought that it would be negligent of me to not share the data with you.

     Well, here they are, in all of their glory.  The suppliers' names are links which will take you to them directly (at the time of this writing, anyway).  I've also taken the liberty of a preliminary analysis of their total meat-cost: it considers the prices per pound and the shipping/handling costs.  The graph is shown below the link-paragraphs.

     Hmm:  I wonder if there aren't similar such suppliers for locally-exotic vegetables & fruits, tubers,  & grains, fungi (mmm, truffles...), oils & vinegars, herbs & spices, salts, extracts, sauces, honeys & syrups, jams / jellies / marmalades / preserves, etc.?  Maybe I'll look into that for a later blog.  As always, please feel free to add data in the comments (especially if you know of other meat/etc. suppliers, and/or have reviews of any of them to share with the rest of us).

NOTE:  some of the meats (such as venison: deer) can come from more than one of the suppliers below;  just because the graph shows an overall bottom-line higher price for one than another, doesn't mean that a particular cut of that meat wouldn't be cheaper with an otherwise-more-expensive shipper.  I cover that question, at least for deer & elk cuts, in my next blog entry, "Deer and elk meat-cuts' prices".
     Keep in mind:  it seems as if most of the places I'd looked at suggest shipping at least 10 pounds of meat;  less than that seems to make them a bit skittish, presumably due to potential spoilage (I'm guessing that this would be due to potential food poisoning and subsequent law suits).



Elk USA:  Venison, elk, buffalo, & goat;

     Shipping:

     weight     est. S&H

     "small"    $2/lb ice

     18#           $9

     45#           $12

     70#           $15

SMG Foods:  SMG offers a great number of unusual meats to include {antelope, elk, venison, wild boar;  bison/buffalo; duck, goose, guinea fowl, partridge, pheasant, quail, squab, wild turkey; & rabbit}, as well as the more typical meats {pork, beef, veal, chicken, poussin (i.e.: spring chicken, like saying "veal"), & lamb}, and even exotic meats such as {alligator, crocodile, kangaroo, llama, ostrich, python, rattlesnake, & turtle}--and if they don't carry whatever you're looking for, then they're willing to get it for you;

     Shipping:  their shipping costs are a bit too complicated to detail here, but they seem to be cheaper than the following shippers, below.

Broken Arrow ranch:  Not nearly as wide a selection, but always good to know about--AND they have a how-much-do-I-actually-need Meat Calculator!  (For those times when you're wondering how much meat you need, for a given cut, a given number of people, and a given amount of meat per serving.)  Broken Arrow's meats include {venison (2 types), elk, antelope, boar, & quail}.

     Shipping:  $20 S&H, +$1.55/#, plus a requirement to order a minimum of $50 meat... could be better, could be worse.

Fossil Farms:  As with SMG, Fossil Farms also carries a great diversity of meats {alligator, antelope, Berkshire pork, buffalo, burgers, duck (3 species), elk, emu, foie gras, guinea hens, kangaroo, kobe beef, lamb (3 types), ostrich, partridge, pheasant, Piedmontese beef, poussin (still a spring chicken), quail, rabbit, rattlesnake, squab, turkey, turtle (2 types), venison, wild boar, yak, Tur Duck En, beef (grass fed), & wild Scottish game birds};

     Shipping:  $20 S&H, +$1/#... not so much fun (you'll see why, in the #:$ ratio-chart, below)..

Underhill Farms:  The most expensive, given actual costs plus add-on shipping/handling, Underhill is at the bottom of the list, but it's better to know of them than not, just in case you need to place an emergency order for venison and everyone else is tapped out {Belgian blue beef, venison, elk, & pork};

     Shipping:  

     weight     est. S&H

     5#             $44.95

     10#           $53.95

     15#           $67.95

     20#           $82.95

     25#           $98.95

Update 1:  I received a new datum, "The Savory Gourmet", on Sat 22 Jan 2011.

     Given that the 5 suppliers reviewed below are from a year or 2 back, you'll perhaps forgive me for not having included The Savory Gourmet into the shipping-cost graph at the end of this blog entry.  Their meats include: Berkshire pork, buffalo, bison, chicken, duck, elk, lamb, pheasant, wild boar, venison, antelope, black bear, kangaroo, Kobe beef, lamb, llama, ostrich, Piedmontese beef, yak, Mulard duck, duck, quail, caiman (croc), rabbit, python, bacon, reindeer, caribou, salmon, ox, musk ox, alligator, venison, ostrich eggs, snake(?), goat, & emu.

     I haven't yet really look them over heavy-duty, but it doesn't look as if they actually do any shipping of their meats--I could be wrong, but they might be an on-site-only store (i.e.: you might have to shop in person, if you want to buy stuff there).  I e-mailed them, but since they closed 5 hours ago, and don't list being open on Sundays, we might have to wait a bit before finding out one way or the other.

     Meanwhile, for those who are in the area:  their store is located in Lancaster, Pa, and they carry other stuff (such as cheeses, gourmet foods, and butters).

Update 2:  After yesterday's "Update 1", I finally got around to looking at ordering some deer.

     The thing is:  although I had accounted for the fact that the different cuts run at rather different prices from one shipper to the next (I suppose that I should put in an entry on that...), I now had to account for the fact that ElkUSA's Whitetail deer is on a separate page from their other deer, even though they stuck their Red (which is new) on the same page as their Fallow (...this took me a moment to figure out ...seriously:  that makes sense from a shopper's perspective, how?).

     Well, having settled on what we wanted, I thought that I'd Google for possible coupons to apply to the order...  which led me to a bunch of shippers whom I hadn't reviewed:  BisonRidgeRanch (only bison; didn't see shipping costs), HealthyBuffalo (smallish, but ok variety; call for shipping cots), DuffMeats (bison & elk; fre shipping if order's >$150, but that's all that I saw on that), BuffaloGal (some variety; $50 order minimum, shipping calculated upon placing order [before finalizing, I hope?]), BuffaloHillsBisonMeat (only buffalo), NorthStarBison (decent variety), GedaliasCompany (only goat), VenisonAmerica (wide variety), ChoiceFilets (normal stuff), TenderFilet (normal stuff), OmahaSteaks (normal stuff), & Y's Decision (only elk).  (It also led me to CBCrabCakes, HancockGourmetLobster, WisconsinCheeseMan, and a few other even less red-meat related sites.)

     Those, in turn, led me to others:  CrownBlueBison (beef and bison), NWWildFoods (buffalo, honeys, berries, jams, & mushrooms), TexasGrassFedBeef (buffalo, fish, normal stuff), NiobraraValleyBison (only bison), and GrassFedTraditions (bison and normal stuff).
     In passing, I'd also run into BeechHillBison (only bison), SilverBison (only bison), CowboyFreerangeMeat (small variety), JacksonHoleBuffaloMeatCo (small variety), and Lobel's Butcher Shop (normal stuff).

     There truly is a metric shit-ton (technical terminology, you know) of other sites.
     I simply stopped.
     There are simply too many to really try price-comparing the different meat-cuts' cost, pound minima, and shipping/handling charges--unless you're willing to throw together an access database, and live links to each item's price, and more live links to the companies' shipping rates, etc.; if so, then please let me know when you have a finished product.
     Honestly, your best bet is probably to shop around for yourself there.  If you Google almost any of the above-named suppliers or meats, then you'll typically also get additional hits for other suppliers and other meats.

     I haven't had a chance to sort out anything about these new guys' prices or shipping & handling (except to notice the startling-to-me market niche predominance of buffalo/bison/elk), and, though I'd like to, I doubt that I'll do so any time soon (frankly, I might not do so at all).  All that I've done with them so far is to add links to their sites, in the process of which I noted that some offer a small selection of different meats, some a wider variety.

If the graph below is too blurry, too fine-printed, and/or otherwise not terribly legible, then click on it--it will open as an enlarged pic, for viewing convenience.

     If you're thinking of a particular number of pounds of meat, then you want the bottom-most price-square (which gives you the lowest price for that many pounds).

     If you have n-many dollars in mind, then you want the right-most pound-square (which gives you the largest amount of meat for that price).

     Of course, either way, you should also consider just how much freezer-space you have, how much of the food will actually get eaten (as opposed to becoming yet another unidentifiable something in your fridge 6 months down the line), and so forth.

Hiroshimayaki (okonomiyaki: a bit of this, a bit of that)

Hiroshimayaki.  Either it inspires a happy smile in your belly, or you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about.

     Hiroshimayaki is a griddled food of the overall okonomiyaki group of food-stuff, and originates in Hiroshima (yeah: that second part really surprised you, right?).  The exact ingredients vary wildly (yes: wildly, not widely--I'm descending into hyperbole, if you don't mind), so you needn't follow this recipe with exactitude.  It's almost as broad in its flexibility as the term "omelette" is:  omelettes are eggs plus something, okonomiyaki is a crêpe-like batter with cabbage plus something (and hiroshimayaki just requires that one of the somethings be yakisoba: noodles).  It occupies a food niche in Japan somewhat comparable to that of pizza in America (though perhaps not nearly as universally present as pizzerias are).

     That being said, this recipe is what I've come to love.  It comes from Dotonbori, a restaurant (chain of restaurants?) in (or was it only near?) the Fussa Shi prefecture (borough/county) of Tokyo.  Way cool place: they had these statues of tanuki (mythical trickster raccoon-dogs) by the front door.

     This is a reconstruction which I had put together about 2 years ago, when I hadn't had any hiroshimayaki for about 4½ years.  I had had to work from memory (which was probably a good start, since I used to make it myself all of the time [it was that sort of restaurant], so the muscle-memory and so forth is probably clearer than a taste/visual-only memory at an American restaurant would have been), as bolstered by Googles (and Wiki).

     This particular recipe below tastes good, but I'm pretty sure that the batter had come out far too doughy (though that could have been my deviating when I made it--it's been a while, so I'm not 100% on how closely I'd followed my intended recipe).  You might consider running a standard crêpe batter, if you want to be fairly certain of success, and reserve experimenting with the batter below until you have time to compare and contrast.

     Google hiroshimayaki for alternatives; you might like the idea, but wish to use (instead or as well) shrimp, rice, beef/chicken, kimchi, etc..
     Note: the image below is representative, from a Google search, not a pic of my own; it looked much like this (in the same way as burgers all look much the same), so I'm throwing it in in order to give you a visual cue.

Hiroshimayaki - serves ~2-3

Ingredients:

   Batter:

½ cup flour (yam flour, preferably)

½ cup water (or dashi soup stock?)

1 egg

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Layers:
2 cups shredded cabbage

¼ cup bean sprouts

¼ cup shredded green onions

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5-10 bacon strips

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1 cup boiled/steamed yakisoba (soba: noodles)

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2-3 eggs (uncooked), depending upon number of servings being made

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Okonomiyaki sauce, to taste

     (go to the store for that one—and yakisoba or tonkatsu sauce can substitute)

Katsuobushi , to taste

     (basically: fish shavings [it resembles pencil-sharpener shavings])

Seaweed powder, to taste (confetti-like, ~1mm²)

=========================

PREP WORK:

You NEED a very broad spatula for this.

     Mix flour, water, eggs, and yam flour to form a thin gruel-like crêpe-batter.

     Prepare the vegetables as a tossed-salad looking mix of fine-shredded cabbage, bean sprouts, and green onions.

COOKING:

Onto a medium-heated griddle, dole out ~6” diameter pool of batter—it will cook rapidly, so immediately pile on a handful of cabbage.

     Ladle a thinnish layer of batter onto the cabbage, and flip the whole over to cook that layer, and press it firmly to the griddle.

     Lay on the bacon, with another thin coat of batter, and flip/press again.

     Lay on a handful of soba.  At the same time, pour the egg onto the griddle (break the yolk or not, to taste), allowing it to partially cook (so that it’s slightly manageable, but still runny enough to sink into the soba), then spatula it onto the soba, and flip the whole yet again, pressing down some more.

     Transfer to plate, the whole being ~1”-2” thick.

     Coat (to taste) with okonomiyaki sauce.  If you haven’t had it before, give it a quick taste—it’s a bit strong and somewhat salty.

     Sprinkle with katsuobushi and seaweed, to taste.  (Note: this is where it gets kind of interesting: the katsuobushi, being shaved fish, curls and unfurls in a thermal effect; way cool.)

     Repeat for next serving.

Duck à l'orange, with tomato-cheese bread

Not as popular today as it was a few decades ago, but it's still pretty good.

     I've made it a couple of times, but the only time that I took notes on the outcome was when I had made it on a spur of the moment, and hadn't gone shopping recently, and Rox was away in Florida so I was cooking for just me and my mother... don't you just love it when a plan comes together (and a plan really works better when you actually have a plan to start with, rather than just a bug up your ass).

     Well, when you have more-or-less the right ingredients on hand, it's still decent.  It would help if you actually see what you need and go shopping (trust me on that one: I speak from experience), but they're not all necessary.  Hell, you probably can get by doing it with chicken, some orange juice, and a few odds and ends, and still have a delicious meal--though if you're in a rush, it's still a good idea to ask yourself if substituting kippered herrings for caviar, and bagels for baguettes really is such a hot idea.

     NOTE: I grabbed a couple of representative images from Google.  They're reasonably close to how the duck à l'orange has come out for me, though I don't remember how the bagel-substituting-for-baguettes came out (I ran the tomato cheese bread recipe only the once, but I doubt that the substitution was quite as good as the recipe would have resulted in), so I can say only that it is likely a good approximation for the bread.

Duck à la orange

NOTES:  skipped wine & salad; sub’d kippered herring for caviar, sub’d salad dressing for sour cream; skipped asparagus & potatoes; dashed some minced garlic into rice; skipped bread & desert.

     Used leaves/etc. not sprigs; orange zest & lime juice not squeezed oranges & wedges;  dried onion flakes not onion; no carrots; celery salt & seeds, no celery; walnuts for chestnuts; red wine for wine vinegar; powdered mustard not prepared; chicken bouillon not broth/stock/etc.; some grenadine not liquor or brandy.

     Sub’d bagels for baguettes, used 3-sheese & sundried tomato pesto w/ basil infused olive oil.

     No shallots, estimated orange sauce amounts (rushed).

     Hmm… http://www.cooks.com/rec/doc/0,1915,148172-246204,00.html has a tasty-looking recipe for roast duck with Grand Marnier.

Serve with:

   Wine:  Pinot Noir or Chateau Lagrange St.-Julien

   Salad:  chard w/ vinaigrette

   Entrée:  eggs sautéed in duck fat, w/ red caviar, chives, chervil, & sour cream

   Side dishes:  steamed asparagus, and potatoes au gratin w/ minced garlic (topped w/ gruyere)

   Main course:  duck on bed of brown rice w/ toasted almond slivers

   Bread:  tomato cheese (bread instructions below duck recipe)

   Desert:  pineapple w/ chocolate sauce?

Yield:  4 servings

Level:  Intermediate

Prep time:  10 min

Inactive time:  --

Active time:  45 min

Total time:  2¼ hr

Special equipment: an instant-read thermometer; a 13x9” flameproof roasting pan

Ingredients

   For duck

1 (5-6 lb) duck

1 tablespoon sea salt

1 teaspoon ground coriander

½ teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon black pepper

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1 juice orange, halved

4 fresh thyme sprigs

4 fresh marjoram sprigs

2 fresh flat-leaf parsley sprigs

1 small onion, cut into 8 wedges

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½ cup dry white wine

½ cup duck stock, OR duck and veal stock (D'Artagnan 800-327-8246), OR chicken stock/broth

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½ carrot

½ celery rib

½ cup diced chestnuts

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10 strips of bacon

   For sauce

1/3 cup sugar

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1/3 cup fresh orange juice (from 1-2 oranges)

2 tablespoons balsamic, sherry, or red wine vinegar (or white)—or more to taste

2 tablespoons shallots, minced

½ teaspoon thyme

1 bay leaf

½ teaspoon powdered ginger

1 tablespoon mustard (PREF: brown Dijon)
1/8 teaspoon sea salt

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2-4 tablespoons duck/chicken stock/broth/glaze

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1 tablespoon unsalted butter, softened

1 tablespoon cornstarch (or all-purpose flour)

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1 tablespoon fine julienne of fresh orange zest (ALT: kumquat), removed with a vegetable peeler

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1 tablespoon orange flavored liqueur (perhaps Grand Marnier?)  ALT: brandy

Preparation

   For duck:
     Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 475°F.

     CRUCIAL:  Prick the duck’s skin all over but not sticking the skewer straight in—go almost parallel with the skin, through it and into the fat but not the flesh.  This will let the fat drain out during cooking.

     Stir together salt, coriander, cumin, and pepper.  Pat duck dry and sprinkle inside and out with spice mixture.

     Cut 1 half of orange into quarters and put into duck’s cavity with thyme, marjoram, parsley, and 4 onion wedges.

     Squeeze juice from remaining half of orange and stir together with wine and stock.  Set aside.

     Spread remaining 4 onion wedges in roasting pan with carrot, celery, and chestnuts, then place duck on top of vegetables, cover with bacon slices, and roast 30 minutes.

     Pour wine mixture into roasting pan and reduce oven temperature to 350°F.  Continue to roast duck until thermometer inserted into a thigh (close to, but not touching, bone) registers 170°F (though poultry really should be 190°F), 1-1¼ hours more.

     Turn on broiler and broil duck 3-4” from heat until top is golden brown—about 3 minutes.

     Tilt duck to drain juices from cavity into pan and transfer duck to a cutting board, reserving juices in pan.

     Let duck stand 15 minutes.

   For sauce:
     DO NOT START UNTIL:  T-1 hour

     While duck roasts, cook sugar in a dry 1-quart heavy saucepan over moderate heat, undisturbed, until it begins to melt.  Continue to cook, stirring occasionally with a fork, until sugar melts into a deep golden caramel.

     Add orange juice, vinegar, shallots, thyme, bay leaf, ginger, mustard, and salt (use caution; mixture will bubble and steam vigorously) and simmer over low heat, stirring occasionally, until caramel is dissolved.  Remove syrup from heat.

     Discard vegetables from roasting pan and pour pan juices through a fine-mesh sieve into a 1-quart glass measure or bowl, then skim off and save fat for omelettes.  Add enough stock/broth/glaze to pan juices to total 1 cup liquid.

     Stir together butter and cornstarch to form a beurre manié.

     Bring pan juices to a simmer in a 1-2 quart heavy saucepan, and then add beurre manié, whisking constantly to prevent lumps.

     Add orange syrup and zest and simmer, whisking occasionally, until sauce is thickened slightly and zest is tender, about 5 minutes.  Add liqueur and simmer the sauce for about 30 seconds to cook off the alcohol.

     Serve with duck.

TOMATO & CHEESE BREAD (1’ baguette)

See also:  http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/sun-dried-tomato-and-asiago-cheese-bread/Detail.aspx

Ingredients:

1 small par-baked baguette

2-3 tbsp softened butter   (ALT: olive oil w/ a little rosemary)
1 tbsp concentrated tomato paste
3 tbsp grated cheddar cheese (or other cheese of choice)
black pepper to taste
1/2 tsp dried oregano

1 avocado

Method:

     Pre-heat the oven to 180C.  Slice the baguette carefully into 1.5 cm thick slices, being careful not to cut all the way through the bottom of each slice.

     In a small bowl, mix together all the remaining ingredients to form a paste.  Carefully spread a generous amount of the paste into each cut in the baguette, spreading any leftovers on top of the baguette.

     Wrap the baguette in aluminum foil (shiny side in) and bake in the centre of the oven for about 10 minutes or until the butter has completely melted into the bread.

     Serve hot.

Arroz con gandules (Spanish rice & beans)

I figured that I had to post arroz con gandules next, given the preceding post of pernil.

     When I went digging through my recipes, I found that I had two for arroz con gandules.  I'd like to claim credit for the first recipe, but I have no idea of whether it's mine or not, or if I even tweaked someone else's a bit (in which case I could at least claim partial credit).  I do think that using a packet each of the different sazons might be my own spin, but that's still really just a guess.  Regardless of the 1st recipe's origin though, I can totally vouch for it tasting great.

     I threw the second one in here, since it takes barely any more effort to post than posting just the one would have.  I can say safely that the 2nd one isn't my recipe.  I have no idea of where I got it from (though it might be a combination of notes, from looking into alternative gandules recipes at some point), and I'm pretty sure that I haven't tried it, but it does look decent.

     The next problem is:  posting this draws my thoughts to a particular recipe for rather salty, tomato-based, shredded corned beef (not corned beef itself, or corned beef hash; totally not)--but I had been thinking to next post Hiroshimayaki (seriously good shit, often extremely misleadingly referred to as "Japanese pancakes" and "Japanese omelettes" [though at least omelette is in the right neighborhood... {Man! I miss Dotonbori, in Fussa Shi, Tokyo (Damn! Now that's got me thinking about CoCo's curry [best substitute: S&B boxed curry])}]).  Wah!

     So:  do I put it to a vote, or just flip a coin?
     NOTE: I grabbed a representative pic of arroz con gandules from Google.  It varies from one cook to the next, and according to whim of the moment changes, but the pic is a reasonable representation.

Arroz con gandules (rice & beans)

Cook time minimum 1 hr (but best if simmered 24 hours)

Serves 4

Ingredients:

2 cans gandules (pigeon peas)

¼-½ cup minced onion (dried onion is just fine)

2 tbsp minced garlic (jarred works great, and takes way less effort)

≤2 packets sazon

     (preferably 1 jamon [ham] & 1 con culantro y achiote [sin achiote's perfectly ok

    {i.e.:  cilantro & annatto; without annatto is ok too}])

2-4 tbsp sofrito (a jarred tomato-paste, basically, but with other flavors & veggie-stuff as well)

4 oz ready-to-eat chorizo (chop it fine: to chunks equiv to ½ cm cubes [it's a sausage])

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 cups rice

~5-10 threads saffron (maybe more... Hell, you know that I won't complain!)

½ tsp safflower

Directions:

Beautifully simple: throw all of the first bunch of stuff together and heat it (being sure to keep sufficient water added, if needed, to avoid it drying up, much less burning).

     Note:  the saffron's not necessary, so don't sweat it if you don't have any (if you use enough of it on a regular basis, then it'll eat into your wallet--the shit costs ~1/2 the price of gold at current prices [depending upon where you buy the saffron, anyway], but it really does make a difference).

     Ditto for the rice ingredients (in case you don't have one already: an automatic rice cooking pot would help you immensely.  If you typically eat a lot of rice, then it's a must-have item).

The slow way—handmade:

1 pound dried pigeon peas, picked through and rinsed
2 bay leaves

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1/4 cup achiote oil, recipe follows

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1 medium white onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 green bell pepper, cored and diced

1 cubanella or Italian green pepper, cored and diced
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1/2 cup chicken broth

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1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon cayenne

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2 cups long-grain rice
1/2 lime, juiced
1 tablespoon salt

Put the pigeon peas and bay leaves in a large pot, cover with 3 quarts of cold water, and place over medium heat.  Cover and cook the beans until tender, about 1 1/2 hours.  Check the water periodically; add more, if necessary, to keep the peas covered.

     Drain the pigeon peas and RESERVE 4 CUPS of the cooking liquid.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Coat a large Dutch oven or other ovenproof pot with the achiote oil and place over medium heat.

     When the oil begins to smoke, add the onion, garlic, and peppers. Cook, stirring, for 10 minutes, until the vegetables have softened, without letting them brown.

     Pour in the chicken broth and continue to cook until the liquid is evaporated. Stir in the cumin, coriander, and cayenne.

     Mix in the rice and reserved pigeon peas.

     Pour in the reserved 4 cups of pigeon pea cooking liquid, lime juice, and salt; stir everything together.  Cover and bake for 20 to 30 minutes, until the rice is tender and the liquid is absorbed.

Achiote Oil (aceite de achiote):

1 cup vegetable oil

2 tablespoons achiote/annatto seeds

To make the achiote oil, pour the oil and achiote seeds in a pot or skillet.  Cook over medium-low heat for 5 to 10 minutes; the oil will be reddish-orange from the achiote.  Strain the oil, discard the achiote seeds and set aside to cool.

Yield: 1 cup

Pernil asado (a pork roast, Puerto Rican in this case)

Ahh... PERNIL!  How to best describe it without waxing melodramatic, yet still capturing is quintessential yumminess?

     Perhaps that question alone does it sufficient justice.
     It's a pork roast, Spanish in general, though the variation with which I'm most familiar is Puerto Rican (New Yo-Rican, to my fellow Brooklynites [to non-Brooklynites: that's not some kind of slur, it's a specific delineation of New York P.R. w.r.t. Borinqueños {islanders}]).

     To me, the main flavors sought here are the salty, crispy skin (with a ~1 cm thick underlayer of fat), and the relatively strongly garlicked pork of the meat itself.  Naturally, some arroz con gandules is my preference of accompanying dish, but to each their own (I suppose that I'll have to put up that recipe next--too good to pass up on).

     So, this recipe is a reconstruction of one which I can tell you by taste (a particularly good example of it, for me, can be found at El Rincon Montañez, in Brooklyn [on 54th & 4th]--if they're still around), but for which I don't know the exact balance of ingredients.  This reconstruction is based upon sifting through quite a few online recipes, and balancing them against taste-memory.  I've tried this one once or twice, and revised it afterward, so it's a bit closer to accurate (for me)--but even if it were exactly what I'm aiming for, you might well have a sufficiently different palate to require an entirely different balance of flavors.

     NOTE: I grabbed a pic from Google, as a general representation, but one roast pork is going to look much the same as the next, allowing for minor variation in detail.

Ingredients:
6 lb pork shoulder WITH skin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 garlic cloves, minced
A little oregano (to taste--keep it light, your 1st time, maybe a tsp or 3)
1 tbsp black pepper
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adobo to taste (in marinade, under fat, wherever/whenever)
     NOTE for readers:  Adobo is a Spanish garlic-salt, broadly,
     with extra flavors
2-3 tbsp oil (olive, preferably)
2-3 tbsp white vinegar
2-6 tbsp salt (balance carefully against the Adobo level [it's pretty salty stuff, if you aren't familiar w/ it])

Instructions:
1)  WASH the pork.
2)  Score meat ~1” deep.
3)  Grind garlic, oregano, & pepper together.
4)  Mix Adobo olive, vinegar, & salt with the ground bits.
5)  Knead mixture into meat, then pour meat and mixture into a Ziploc bag (or similar).
6)  Allow to marinate at least 8 hours, maybe a day or 2.
===========================================
7)  Preheat oven to 350* (give or take 25*-50*).
8)  Place into pan, skin up, and cover with foil.
9)  Bake for 5-6 hours.
10)  You’re looking for a core-temp of 170*-180* (without the thermometer touching bone).
10.a)  Remove foil, & bake ’til crisp-skinned (maybe 1 more hour--you might consider adjusting the temperature at this point).
12)  Remove & let sit a few minutes, to permit the skin a little contracting/crisping time (and oil to drain a tiny bit).

In memoriam

This could sound morbid, and probably will, and it might very well seem more than a little nuts.

     I don't care.

We took care of this stray cat in our back yard for the past year to maybe a year and a half.  We've been doing that with her siblings and half-siblings (etc.) since we bought the house.

     She was one of four in the litter.  She and her one of her brothers were nearly identical tabbies, the only obvious difference being a slight variation in coloration--he was more tan-toned, and she more black-toned.  For obvious reasons, we'd named them (unimaginatively) Blackie and Tanner.  She stayed, and the rest moved on.

She was friendly and sweet; the best mother-cat Rox or I had ever seen.  She never gave Baby (her only son) any attitude, just hung out with him and made sure that he was ok--she was extremely protective of him.
     She even let him eat first.
     She would schmooze all around the door frame, getting petted, and sniff our cats, rather than hiss or fight when they would occasionally hiss at her (and just maybe bat at her).  Her seeming favorite over the summer was to lie down on this slab of cement which overhung the (now-dry) fish pond, beneath the wisteria (where she also slept at night, in its arbor).  Likewise, over the fall she liked to lie down near the fence, in the sun; it wasn't really out of the wind at all, but she liked it, and so had earlier litters of her mother's.
     She never did quite grasp the concept of a warm(ish) plastic bin with a towel in it.
     Well, right before Thanksgiving, Baby seemed to have broken his left arm.  Broken or not, something was definitely very wrong with it.  He was more nearly domesticated than Blackie, but still wasn't quite there.  We tried anyway.
     We had him, I got a few logistical items arranged as Rox held him and shushed him, but then a thoroughly unexpected car alarm went off and he bolted.  I followed him calmly and reassuringly, but he just wasn't buying it.  He hobbled off to the shack, glancing back in an unnervingly Ol' Yeller kind of way (it felt foreshadowing at the time, and turned out to have been).
     We never saw him again.

Due to the snow this weekend, we'd been a bit concerned about Blackie for the past couple of days, since she hadn't shown up for breakfast or dinner, but the strays here tend to do that from time to time, and she might have taken up residence with her boyfriend across the street.

     She came by for breakfast today, though, and was favoring her left foot.  A lot.

     When I came home, she was obviously avoiding putting any weight on it.

     After all of this time, we had succeeded in semi-domesticating her sufficiently that we could pet her, and even entice her to come a few steps into the house sometimes.  This time, I simply hauled her gently in and closed the door.  As I got her safely locked into the main bathroom, Rox called an after-hours vet.

After details and paperwork and waiting, the vet said that she had a compound break, but also advanced FIV (essentially equivalent to full-blown AIDS in a human).  The upshot was that there was no real hope for her having a decent life at all--instead, a short life full of misery, w/ FIV, while healing from the break, followed by innumerable vet visits, being segregated from the other house cats while not even being a house cat herself...

     We opted to have her euthanized.

     Maybe it was the right thing to do.  Hell, maybe it was the only moral thing to do.  As far as I'm concerned... I killed her.  It was fast--less than a minute.  One moment she was lovingly licking my fingers, and nibbling a little bit, the next... she was asleep, and dead a moment later.
     She wasn't a house cat, though that was our plan.  Get her used to things, ease her into it, and then get her housed, safe, warm, fat, and happy.  Rox was thinking that we could maybe get her with some Frontline (flea-stuff) this time.
     She trusted me enough to let me put her into the cat carrier, to go to the vet, without flipping out on me physically, even though I had already dragged her into the alien environment of the house, and she was flipped out emotionally/psychologically over that idea.  I'm just glad that she didn't understand English (I assume): I was cooing calming noises at her, telling her that we were taking her to the vet, and that soon everything would be ok, and that the vet would get her all fixed up, and we'd take care of her.
     My eyes are burning, and my throat hurts.

She seemed to really enjoy her last meal.

     I'm posting it in memoriam of Blackie.

     Please pardon the incorrectly conjugated Latin; perhaps I'll fix it later.

Blackie, ~Aug/Sep(?) 2009 - Tue 11 Jan 2011, ~21:12 CST.

     We love you, and will miss you always.

Addendum: We buried her this evening (the evening of next day), in the back yard.
   She was still in the box which the vet had brought her back out in.  We chose to keep her thus, as a sort of coffin.  We wrapped it in the towels from the carrier, put in the remainder of her last dinner, a toy koala which she had stolen from some neighbor's yard and played with for about the past year, some rose stems and a bit of the wisteria.
     We had been going to bury her by the fence, where she and others would sun themselves over the winter, but the ground was too root-ridden and rife with stones (or cement?).
     Instead, we buried her near the base of the wisteria (in the arbor of which she slept over the summer), in the same area as we had previously buried Moby (a large coi from the small fishpond), a (never named) goldfish(?) (also from the fishpond), Xi (our betta), and an algae-eater (which we had had only briefly, and whose name we have, embarrassingly, forgotten).
     She at least has a pretty plot, and would maybe have appreciated it (assuming that cats can do so in the first place).

Amo Mei:
     Diced Schwann's chicken fingers
     32g "Goldfish" (cracker-things)
     1/2 cup milk
     1/2 cup cereal
     1/2 cup sweet potatoes
     1 can of fishy-something

3 course meal plan, steak-based

Ok, everyone (yup: that's all 2 of you, at the moment...), this is the one which I've been waiting for--my piece de resistance:  la cage au bullion!

     While there are more recipes coming (some tried, some trite, some tripe [mayhap], some wanton, and some found wanting), this one is a heart attack waiting to happen.  It's delicious, tasteful, well balanced in flavors (though perhaps not quite as well balanced in its potential health effects...).

     The meal plan is presented sequentially by course number, each course broken down by subset (for example: 2.A. covers the main course's meat serving, and is presented from bottom-most layer [2.A.1 rice] to top-most [2.A.3.c Swiss cheese]).  The one flaw in it, to me, is that it lacks a vegetable, but that can always be ad libbed (carefully).

     This meal plan is perhaps a bit of a let-down, as far as actual how-to recipes go, since it delineates only what to make, not how you can make them.  For most people, I'm not too worried about your ability to make tea, or to figure out the right balance of green onions to shallots (harder than tea, but you can probably figure out how you'd like your onion soup to be flavored), but the crème brûlée (in the dessert course's alternative selection)... yeah, that might be a bit trickier.

     I do have a crème brûlée recipe, though I haven't tried it, and I don't even have an untried recipe for bakalava (in the alternative to the alternative dessert) as yet (so, obviously, we had had this meal with the primary sorbet dessert).

     Ok, so, enough yammer now:  eat, drink, and be merry!

La cage au bullion:
   1  A)  onion soup (light, not French);
       B)  salad with balsamic vinaigrette;
       C)  orange pekoe tea;

   2  A.1)  bed of wild rice,
       A.2)  covered-roast steak (i.e.: nearly par-broiled [albeit in red wine, so technically not actually par broiled, as such], with Portobello mushrooms, apples, pears, & pearl onions) laid atop the rice,
       A.3.a)  medium coat of bleu cheese,
       A.3.b)  overlaid by pinwheel of alternating thin-strip-bacon and thickened beef bullion-and-drippings sauce,
       A.3.c)  overlaid in turn by thin sliced Swiss cheese;
       B)  red wine (a reasonably strong body, but not sufficient to overpower the main course);

   3  A)  sorbet on vanilla wafers with a few mint leaves to garnish;
       B)  rich semi-sweetened cappuccino;

   3-ALT.:  crème brûlée (alt-alt: perhaps baklava?), with amaretto-cappuccino

Eggnog! :-D (Note: non-alcoholic)

<sighs...> yep, still awake.

     So, everyone loves eggnog, right?  (Ok, so maybe the lactose intolerant have mixed feelings about it... at best... but work with me here, wouldja?)

     This one came from a bunch of different recipes online.  I had picked bits and pieces from among them, and settled on a yummy-sounding average-ish mix of the lot.  I was right: it turned out delicious; a rich, creamy, truly taste bud titillating drink.  (Hmm, haven't made it in a while--gonna have to rectify that!).

     Note:  the spices tend to settle to the bottom, so you'll probably have to re-mix it gently (to minimize frothing) whenever you serve any of it (unless you serve it all out, at the get-go).

     I'm a massive dairy-fiend, so my goal in the eggnog was to actually have eggnog, hence the total lack of alcohol in it.  I have nothing against alcohol, I just don't see a point in ruining perfectly good 'nog, y'know?  If you come up with a tasty alternative w/ alcohol in it, then feel free to post it in a comment!  ("Hmm" again: that assumes that the comments permit sufficient space for it... I don't know yet.)   :-)

Eggnog   (makes 5/8 gal = 2.5 qts = 5 pts = 10 cups [>1/2 gal])


2 large eggs
1½ cups sugar
½ teaspoon salt
2 x 1 quart milk (1 quart here and another quart later)
  --  OPT: substitute sweetened condensed milk to taste
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1½ teaspoons rum extract
1½ teaspoons vanilla extract
nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice, mace (online = ½ tsp each, but I do it “to taste”)
This is when the SECOND quart of milk comes in
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 cups heavy whipping cream


=======================================================

In heavy 4-quart saucepan, with wire whisk, beat eggs, sugar, and salt until blended.  Gradually stir in 1 quart milk and cook over low heat, STIRRING CONSTANTLY (i.e.: NONSTOP = CONTINUOUSLY), until mixture thickens and coats the back of a spoon well, about 25 minutes (mixture should be about 170*F to 175*F [a setting of maybe ~2-3, on an electric stove], but do NOT BOIL or else it will curdle).

     Pour the resulting custard into large bowl; stir in rum & vanilla extracts, ½ teaspoon each of ground nutmeg/cinnamon/allspice/mace, and remaining milk.  Cover and refrigerate until well chilled, about 3 hours.

     To serve: in small bowl, with mixer at medium speed, beat heavy or whipping cream until soft peaks form.  With wire whisk, gently fold whipped cream into custard mixture.

     Pour eggnog into chilled 5-quart punch bowl; sprinkle with ground nutmeg.